Well, Thank you, all so much for the nice thoughts but believe it or not I am doing really well... :0)
The sad thing is my beloved will at some point soon be going in to have surgery on a tumor in his skull. :0(
He kept telling me over the last several years that his hearing was getting bad in one ear and that he was dizzy so time and time again we went to see Dr.'s and time and time again they said your ears look fine and it is more than likely the blood pressure meds that make you feel dizzy. WOW! they where so very wrong and I asked this last two times we went in to see his Dr. that she just please listen to us and hear what we are saying. I mean really after all I have been through the last six months I am even more careful to listen to my body and his to when he tells me things. We got sent to the ENT and he ordered a hearing test well beloved can hear tones but, he can not understand words in the one ear so right away the ENT knew that this was not good that there was possible a tumor and he ordered an MRI and Tues, he had one and Fri. we went back to the ENT and sure enough he has a VS tumor growing on the nerve that controls hearing and balance and it is pushing on the brain stem. Hhhmmm This is the cause of the dizziness as well as the hearing loss Gggrrr I am so mad that it has taken at least five years maybe more and many trips to the Dr. and the ENT to find this out. I know they are human but, really could you just once in awhile stop and listen to the patients. No, we do not have the same Dr. and if we did I would look for a new right away I mean really mine missed something so big and so did his... Ggrrrr.
So now we wait for the surgeon to get back with us to see what course of action we take I am almost sure from what the ENT said that surgery will be the way to go because we are young, even though this is a slow growing tumor most of the time it is not cancer which is good news at this point we will find out soon but not removing it is not the way to go because it will keep growing and pushing on the brain stem this is the part where I am now wiping the tears off the key board... Sorry, It scares me to think of being with out my best friend, the man that I love, my beloved...
I can live with what the ENT told us which is that he will more than likely lose all the hearing in that ear and that he may end up with facial paralysis on that side and balance issues for life but, I can not bear the thought of being without him that breaks my heart. He is everything to me he has saved my life more times than I can tell you about stood by me when know one else would held my hand and more when I have cried taken care of me when I have been at my sickest it is my turn to repay him and take as good of care of him as I can. I will now be his rock and help him to understand what it feels like to have skull surgery, hold his hand and body when he needs it give him my shoulders to cry on.
He has never had any surgery this will all be new for him he has never stayed the night in a hospital except for when he was born and with me...
P.S. I guess we will be a couple of zipper heads... hehehehe